Funny things about cognac (5 photos). Quotes about cognac
When I eat, I am deaf and dumb.
When I drink, I am much more sociable.
Yellow wine is called white because it is made from green grapes. To hell with logic!
- Will you have some dry wine?
- pour...
Rules of the Poytsovsky Club.
First: Never mention the Poytsovsky Club.
Second: do not mention anywhere about the Poytsovsky Club.
Third: the club member shouted “stop”, became exhausted, passed out - the drinking session was over.
Fourth: only two people participate in a drinking session.
Fifth: drinking bouts come one after another.
Sixth: take off your shoes, shirts, and leave valuables outside the club.
Seventh: booze continues as long as necessary.
Eighth and last: the one who came to the club for the first time will be fatally swollen.
- Darling, I'm sorry, I offended you yesterday. Will two bottles of beer make up for my guilt?
- A box of vodka!
- Oh, look how vulnerable he is!
He was certainly not an eagle, but he flew quickly for beer.
Girls are mysterious creatures after all - sometimes they can’t open a can of tomatoes, sometimes after three glasses of beer they open it with their eyes.
The more you know, the stronger you drink.
A beer can takes 100 years to decompose, but the body of a car rots in 1-2 years!
Just 26 liters of beer is enough for an adult to cover the daily calcium requirement.
Healthy eating is easy!
Do you want to know what I think about you?
Buy me a liter of vodka... Sit back... And listen...
The title of “Psychologist of the Year” was once again won by vodka.
Every day I buy vodka. Am I a shopaholic?
— Excuse me, is there rum or whiskey in this cocktail?
- No, what are you talking about, this is a non-alcoholic party.
- Tell me, where is the exit?
A good conversationalist not only listens attentively, but also pours on time.
I won’t allow a hangover - I won’t get sober!
- I'm Victor, and I'm an alcoholic, I drink vodka.
- I'm Anatoly, and I'm an alcoholic, I drink whiskey.
- I'm Sergey, and I'm an alcoholic, I drink tequila.
- I'm Roman, and I'm a bartender. Orders accepted.
Whiskey-Cola is for weaklings, you're Russian.
Only vodka-vodka, only hardcore.
Vodka "Avatar" - learn to control the blue body.
Do you have anything to drink?
- Tea coffee…
- Ugh, bad, bad, bad friend!
- Maybe we can have a drink?
- The most sober thought I've had all day.
According to doctors, 100 grams of vodka kills 100,000 brain cells, and there are 4 billion of them in total. Through simple calculations I realized that I have minus 4 brains.
A logic teacher went crazy when he couldn't wipe dry wine with a damp cloth.
Alcohol doesn't help you find the answer, it helps you forget the question.
Said NO! Alcohol... It turned out that cognac does not hear...
Alcohol kills nerve cells. Only the calm ones remain.
Alcohol is for the weak. The strong enjoy depression.
The main inexhaustible resources of our country are sadness and melancholy and alcohol.
Low mood? Hello, strong alcohol.
Three reasons for alcohol abuse: everything is good, everything is bad, there is nothing to do.
On New Year's Eve, a person consists of 80% alcohol, the remaining 20% from Olivier.
— Who was the initiator of your relationship?
- Alcohol..
Scottish proverb: “Send a fool for scotch tape, he will bring tape.”
- Scalpel, clamp, alcohol, scalpel, clamp, alcohol, alcohol, alcohol for everyone... let's remember.
“...And now we will pass this big wall, and you will see the area where everyone has stopped drinking and smoking.” We perked up. They rushed to the bus windows. The wall ended and we saw a huge city cemetery.
Russian business is to steal a tank of alcohol, sell it, and drink the money away.
Aching joints means rain... aching teeth means going to the dentist... aching friends means drinking!
In Sparta, lazy and alcoholic children were dumped in Russia.
If ants lift 10 times their weight... then 50 grams of ants can be sent for a bottle of vodka!
-Are you a Satanist?
- I'm a glass drinker.
It’s too late to drink Borjomi when you’ve already bought cognac.
The biggest mistake in life is to take one bottle of whiskey and think that’s enough.
After a bottle of cognac, the conversation turns into an information leak.
When she's drunk, she's hard to find, easy to lose, and impossible to get into a taxi.
A bottle of vodka that fell from a tower crane did not break... but ended up in the hand of a very out of breath crane operator.
So what are we going to do in this situation?
- We buy cognac, then we improvise.
How nice it would be to have a heart of stone, a rubber nervous system and whiskey instead of blood.
If you follow the smell of alcohol, sooner or later you will meet me.
I woke up from the cold and smiled, thinking: “She pulled the blanket over as usual.” And then I realized that I was sleeping drunk in the entrance
-Are you staying with your friends for a long time?
- No. I'll quickly get drunk and go back.
Drunk Natasha had almost calmed down and stopped singing songs in the plane cabin, but then a flight attendant named Zhanna approached her.
Well, the laws have come - now you can’t buy courage, bravery and indifference in the store after 11 pm.
As doctors assure, fifty grams of cognac with dinner is not only healthy, but also not enough.
Love and be loved.
Drink and be drunk.
The Americans invented Skype, but the Russians went further... they drink on Skype.
I treat myself with beer, honey and cinnamon
This is a good method
But there is no honey, no cinnamon either
That's why I'm already drunk.
- Where will you be from?
- Yes, from anywhere - even from glasses, even from glasses. Most importantly, pour it!
I am very ashamed, I want to apologize to you...
- Fuck you.
- ... and a liter of whiskey.
- Come I will give you a hug.
A normal handbag should hold at least two one and a half bags.
Remember, take pictures first, and then drink!
Evgeniy Sidorenko opened a bottle of beer with the corner of his diploma, and this is the first time in 11 years that a higher education diploma has helped a person.
A teetotaler is a weak person who succumbs to the temptation to deny himself pleasure.
(A. Bire)
- Buy it! Buy it! Buy it! Oh please!!!
- Sergei Petrovich, I told you, I’ll pass the exam myself!
- Well, at least give me some cognac!
No, of course, I could avoid drinking on Fridays, but I have to somehow separate one week from the next.
A truck driver who regularly transports vodka differs from his colleagues with iron nerves and very sad eyes.
- Mom, take me to McDonald's for my birthday.
– You’re 25, go to a club, get drunk.
- I can’t drink anymore, I’m tired, mom!
If I open a glass and a half of beer, I immediately throw the cap away.
This is called "burning bridges."
And today I will drink everything that begins with the letter Sh.
Champagne, chamogon, spirt and shonalyut!
What is the difference between alcohol and whiskey?
- You can drink alcohol.
- What about whiskey?
- I need whiskey.
Irish wisdom
Free advice to Jehovah's Witnesses: go to apartments first thing in the morning with mineral water for sale. People will give money and believe in God.
Only in Russia, in addition to acquaintances, friends and acquaintances, there is also such a type of dating as “drinking together.”
And then we polish it off with a beer and go to bed.
-Are you sure this is how the wedding should go?
Give a man a fish and you feed him for the whole day. Teach a person to fish - alcoholism, lost weekends, divorce.
To prevent mosquitoes from biting you, take half a lemon, a bottle of tequila, a salt shaker and don’t go outside.
How nice it is when you wake up after drinking and see - everything is destroyed, trashed... a mountain of unwashed dishes... but the house is not yours.
Growing up is when, when entering a supermarket, you look not at ice cream, chocolates and soda, but at whiskey, cognac, beer and gin.
- What a sweet girl! How old are you?
– One hundred grams of tequila, please.
I always thought that a glass on the package meant that the purchase needed to be washed.
He told her: “That’s enough! You got me! I'm leaving you!". I'm leaving. I hear a shot. Shot yourself?! I'm coming back. I opened the champagne...
A person who doesn’t know how to run his life, after a bottle of vodka, already knows how to run a country.
But you can’t go wrong with anyone to gain weight!
Frank, do you run in the morning?
- No.
- Why, it’s very useful?!
- Maybe, but the ice is falling out of my whiskey.
(from an interview with Frank Sinatra)
“I want to drink and beat my loved ones.”
- Maybe love and be loved?
- What about drinking?
Only our man can drink the money with the one from whom he borrowed it.
The terrorists who seized the distillery have not been able to formulate their demands for the fifth day.
Why on VKontakte they write on the left which of their friends will celebrate their birthday tomorrow, but don’t write where and at what time to drink?
I am neither an optimist nor a pessimist. I'm an alcoholic. In my case, the glass is half whiskey, half cola.
– What is your idea of an ideal date?
- Me and a bottle of whiskey.
How to go to bed early to get enough sleep:
1. Get drunk at 11 pm
2. Sleep like a log at 12
3. You wake up with the first dry spell at 6 am, or even earlier.
4. I don’t want to sleep anymore
Family status:
I like to drink alone with sad music.
This is from fatigue, this is from nervous tension, and this is from depression.
- Thank you Doctor. Do you have anything other than whiskey?
In the name of Lucifer, Beelzebub and the six princes of darkness!
- Man, I’m telling you for the last time that alcohol is prohibited for sale after 23.00.
“I don’t understand how you can drink every day.”
“Then there’s no point in talking about things you don’t understand a damn thing about!”
I never understood how cats drink milk until I broke a bottle of Jack Daniels in the kitchen last night.
Moonshine boasted that it had survived fire, water and copper pipes.
So, son, so, one step, one more step... Well done! Masha! Bring your camera quickly, your son is back from graduation!
Give me whiskey and I'll show you how philosophy is born.
If on Monday morning you did not wake up, but were resurrected, then the weekend was a success.
They dropped the whiskey on the floor and tore off Katya’s hands...
- Why don’t you shave?
- I don’t have a girlfriend for whom I would like to shave...
- And for yourself?
“But I buy beer for myself.”
The grandmother realized that the compote had fermented when the grandfather approached her and asked: “Beauty, are you in a relationship?”
If you don’t drink for a long time, your body accumulates hatred towards all living things. It is necessary to drink.
What makes you get drunk every day?
- Nothing forces you, I’m a volunteer.
I'm not perfect, but you're not perfect either.
- Bartender, two tequilas!
- There is no tequila. There is baked milk, as you like.
- What?
- Your grandmother called me.
When you drink in company, there always comes a period when everyone becomes politicians, psychologists, wise centenarians.
When I open a cola, I automatically smell the whiskey.
Whiskey. If you read this word with the emphasis on the first syllable, you are an alcoholic.
I like sports! Lifting and turning over a glass, leaving the table, orienteering.
– Girl, what are your favorite flowers?
– Whiskey and Tequila.
The fastest way to open up bright prospects is with a corkscrew.
- Do you have vodka?
-Are you 18?
— Do you have a license?
- Okay, okay, why did you start up right away...
Every person in life will have a drunken story that could be used to write a book.
It seems to me that my fumes can disperse the armed conflict in Syria or simply kill people.
Vodka is an amazing drink: the taste is always the same, but the adventures are always different!!!
The head of the apiary could never tell by their faces whether his employees were drinking or working.
The more alcohol in your blood, the slower you will decompose in the coffin. Remember this, remember and act.
Who is drunk and in love,
Invincible.
If you can’t drink beer in your underpants at your workplace, it means you’ve taken a wrong turn somewhere in life.
He left big sports for a long binge, but even there he continued to break records out of habit.
A beer festival took place in Germany. Tambov resident Oleg Ivanovich, who watched the festival on TV, drank the most beer.
Do you drink?
-If it’s a question, then no, but if it’s a proposal, then yes!
— How often do you drink alcohol?
- More than once a week.
- And more specifically?
- Seven.
- What happens if you drink too much vodka?
- It will be the day after tomorrow...
Everyone goes to the gym to look good in the summer. And I’m preparing the liver for summer.
Alcohol increases sex drive. It happens that you drink, lie down on the floor - and how you get carried away that you don’t want to get up until the morning.
Good people go to a bar after they die.
It's so funny when men say:
- Drink and you won’t be embarrassed.
I beg you! If I drink now, you will be embarrassed!
When gluing wallpaper, the main thing is that there are no bubbles.
And then we somehow took two bubbles...
Friday! Evening! Time to shift the load from the brain to the liver!
Alcohol is a man's tears. When a woman feels bad, she cries, when a man feels bad, he drinks. And nothing else. In no case is it the other way around. A crying man is worse than a drinking woman...
The accident happened at a beer festival - my wife visited the garage.
After the match with the computer, Garry Kasparov spent two days drinking with a calculator.
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy.
Beer is an amazing thing! It always gives you pleasure: both when it enters you and when it comes out.
One gram of alcohol adds 9 kcal. It turns out that you can have vodka for lunch. And, by the way, it is now clear why I often feel sick after a large amount of vodka. It's probably from overeating.
Andryukha was bitten by a vampire
And three hours later the vampire
I sat on a bench with the men,
Thinking about three.
- Does it matter to you whether it’s vodka or candy? Can't tell the difference?
- Why can’t we? Can! The candies are sweet and the vodka is delicious!
Nothing is impossible in this world, the main thing is not to snack….
Only here the phrase “improve your health” means getting even more drunk than yesterday...
If a glass breaks - fortunately, if happiness breaks - go to the glass.
If you are in a bad mood, you need to take a sip of vodka, slam some beer and add cognac.
And then for sure... Suddenly the clouds will dance... And the grasshopper will start playing the violin...
Still waiting for the day when I can download alcohol from torrents.
Adult life is cool! You can walk all summer, drink and have as much fun as you want... on the way to your two jobs.
Do you really love me?
- No, I'm drinking with you. Everything that happens after I get drunk has nothing to do with me at all.
I was drunk and decided not to drive home.
I decided to take the bus.
Arrived safe and sound.
It's surprising because I've never driven a bus.
I really want to get drunk at the wedding, please, someone get married.
I left in English.
- You vomited on the carpet, pushed the guests away and wished everyone to burn in hell.
-You will never understand the habits of a gentleman, plebeians.
I had a fight with my husband. I'm sitting in the kitchen. It's a shame. I don't want to see him. He comes in and puts three bottles of champagne on the table with the words: “We’ll drink until we like each other.”
The other day a girl told me:
- Starting tomorrow you WILL NOT drink anymore!
And I look at her and joyfully think:
- So much time together, and so much optimism still in her...
My talent is to drink! And, as we know, you can’t waste talent.
The most common summer sports: litrball, figure skating, synchronized drying.
“Drinker” is like an insult.
We have all been experts in this matter for a long time.
Will you have some dry wine?
- Pour it in!
I’m sitting here sipping some tea and jam.
Tasty, of course, but not a martini, not a martini...
Do you drink beer?
- Only on holidays.
- When are your holidays?
- When there is beer!
Actually, women don’t drink much because all the men are handsome.
- Nastya, I have a bottle of whiskey behind me! If you guess in which hand, we’ll drink it, if you don’t, we’ll break it.
- On the left?
- Think, Nastya, think!
For the last week I’ve been trying to get out of the binge, but so far I can only get out for booze.
Drinking Lessons:
1. MATHEMATICS - chipped in;
2. PHYSICAL EDUCATION - decided who runs to the store;
3. CHEMISTRY - savor;
4. MUSIC - we sing;
5. GEOGRAPHY - trying to get home;
7. FOREIGN LANGUAGE - we explain at home that we drank quite a bit.
Knock Knock.
- Who's there?
- It’s me who’s a binge drinker. I mixed you beer with vodka.
- Finally!
Never claim that you were drunk. When a person is drunk, he does and says what he always wanted to do, but would never do if he were sober.
We go to a large hypermarket after 11 pm. We drink any whiskey we like. We go to the cash register with an empty bottle and say:
- Sorry, I couldn’t resist, but I’m ready to pay!
We hear the answer:
- We cannot break through this purchase, since according to federal law, the sale of alcohol is prohibited after 11 pm.
You apologize and go home without paying anything.
PROBLEMS?
The owner abandoned the bunny...
The bunny became single again.
Baba brings him, drinks beer...
Lives wonderfully!
Threw a coin into the liquor department to return.
Not an alcoholic, but a fearless traveler across the emotional spectrum through chemical portals in glass vessels.
- Ivan, can you work after half a liter?
- I can.
- And after a liter?
- I can.
- And after two?
- I won’t be able to work, but I will lead!
I'm leaving on a difficult road,
To the area where you better not be...
Where the peace of eternal truth slumbers...
In short: I went to drink!
From workaholic to alcoholic - five days.
I've completely fallen out of love with sweets...
And he became addicted to strong drinks.
Why do girls seem more beautiful when they are cold?
- The body thinks that it has been poisoned and is urgently trying to continue its race.
Russian business means stealing a tank of alcohol, selling it, and drinking the money away.
Alcoholics Anonymous Club:
- Hello, my name is Stas... I'm an alcoholic...
- I'm Roma... And I'm an alcoholic.
- My name is Zhenia. I'm an alcoholic.
- Well, what kind of acquaintance?!
Weather forecast for the evening: cloudy with a high chance of whiskey.
He said that I would get drunk and got drunk. I love setting goals and achieving them.
Tell me who your friend is and let's go have a beer together.
I have already forgotten when I bought something other than alcohol, so I just call the money coupons for booze.
Tariff plan "Buhariki".
A new service - "Beacon" - will show where they are drinking without you.
The most offensive thing is when you talk about feelings, and you are accused of alcoholism.
I have an interesting long-term hobby, but my girlfriend demands that I give up on it.
When I was getting ready to go fishing with my buddies, she begged me not to go, almost collapsed at my feet and kept getting tired and tired. She. My only one. Darling. Unique. Liver.
TEQUILA: Licked - Drank - Bitten;
MARTINI: Ordered - Drank - Agreed;
CHEAP COGNAC: Opened - Closed - Threw away;
YOUNG MOLDAVAN WINE: Drank - Jumped up - Ran - Didn’t have time;
EXPENSIVE FRENCH WINE: Bought - Placed - Looking;
VODKA: Drank - Wanted - Seduced - Disgraced - Fell asleep;
TURKISH VODKA: Brought - Opened - Tried - Closed - Gave;
SOVIET CHAMPAGNE: Bought - Drank - Crying - Laughing - Sleeping - Taking it home;
BEER: Drank - Went - Drank - Went - Drank - Drank - Fell asleep - Woke up - Went.
“Come to me,” said the Wolf. Little Red Riding Hood poured two glasses of cognac and sat down on his bed. They inhaled the familiar aroma of cognac. There was melancholy and fatigue in this cognac - the melancholy and fatigue of the fading twilight. Cognac was life itself. “Of course,” she said. - We have nothing to hope for. I have no future. The wolf was silent. He agreed with her.
There are different women
There are sparkling wines,
White or red
Fermenting and sparkling.
Dessert wines, fortified,
Or sweet liqueurs,
They are rounded
And vice versa - smooth.
They are like ice
And they are like honey
Grog or cocktail
Cold suspension:
Is it cognac? Champagne?
Who will understand them?
Although they say
There are even smart ones.
She smells like a man's Kenzo and adrenaline, she has learned in life to weigh every gram. She has boots - 3 pairs - she walks on her back with only sneakers - she runs in them in the morning. She is someone's find, a secret, a wife and mother, she can - cognac, off-road, thorns and mud. But when she approaches the temple on Sunday, from the bell tower a dove waves its wing at her, laughing. She knows so little, but she knows quite accurately, and poetry will not tell her main secret. By the way, the habit of going to bed at 12 at night - this is just a side, forced, effect. You write to her in a personal message - and how, they say, and what did you have, dissecting the texts, delving into her soul. She has the Kama Sutra embroidered on her bed, a Harley will certainly be registered in the garage. She remembers the waltz in the palace with golden chandeliers, and as she howled in pain, she was saved by chance. This girl knows too, too much how to feel And what she pays for it - she alone knows.
Lost Lost (or completely abandoned)
The girl is quiet, good.
The face is grimy and serious.
White Day. Railway station. An ownerless child.
On the lost girl’s chest is a homemade rag doll.
Police private shyly
holding the chick by the hand, like a mother.
He himself is not very old yet,
a ruddy guard sent down to her from above.
He drives around the station and looks around:
Maybe someone who comes to his senses will admit it?
But no one remembered, unfortunately
At the station people are stunned.
And it has nothing to do with human citizens:
Everyone has their own children.
Looking at the helpless face,
who will sigh, who will shudder, who will shudder
After what you have seen, you can say hello.
Drink cognac in the compartment. Flip through Nekrasov.
To be able to touch your conscience -
list a hundred for the orphanage residents.
Take a shower. Scold yourself about your father.
Anything is possible, but you can no longer be clean.
A spring swell cradles the body.
I dream about a homeless baby.
He looks into my soul with sleepy eyes.
In the arms of a boy with shoulder straps
Part one. A shame. My friend Ira went to negotiate about getting her idiot son into university. The Unified State Exam is great, but there were some other interviews that had to be taken, and the unresolved Soviet experience gave my mother the idea of going to see the boss.
The rector was warned in advance about her visit, promised to help “on the relationship”, that is, the usual St. Petersburg mutual settlement: I’m sending your son to college, you’re Pyotr Sidorich’s nephew without a queue at the registry office at Angliyskaya, Pyotr Sidorich my uncle, again without a queue, at the cemetery . No one sees the money, but the body moves.
Nevertheless, we are intelligent people and always take a respectful bottle with us.
My friend is also a decent lady and came to the scientist with cognac in an incredibly pretentious box. The rector was in an excellent mood of body and spirit, invited the caring mother into the small office behind the large office, served a buffet table, galloped like a doe, joked and hoped abstractly. Ira worked through the visit, laughed and straightened her hair.
The scientist was delighted with the gift, said that it was his favorite brand, and lamented the “completely unnecessary” expenses. The guest was flirting, telling how she just went into the store and spent half an hour looking for this particular cognac. The professor suggested, without delay, to drink the offering, he fussily opened the box, continuing to crack like a bullfinch, took out an elegant bottle and froze.
Ira became like a plum and wanted one thing: to fall through the floor, the basement, the earth, magma, the core of the earth and further to the event horizon.
The bottle was, as optimists say, half full.
The gentleman was not at a loss and joked good-naturedly:
- And the rector of which university drank the first half?
Ira cried. She hasn't cried for a long time. Neither in the movies, nor from extreme fatigue, nor from toothache, but here I couldn’t stand it. It was very disappointing. I would like to note that my friend is a model of decency, especially in matters of gratitude. Yes, for some reason she lied that she went to the store, although she took a bottle at home in a drawer where boxes suitable for re-gifting were stored, but that was her only sin.
Seeing the woman's tears, the scientist rushed to calm the unfortunate mother, poured the damn cognac, drank it himself, apologized, poured it for Ira - she burst into tears even more, apologized again, calmed her down, offered water, said that all this was nothing and, they say, it happens. In general, a worthy person. Moreover, he assured the mother that he would do everything in his power for his son.
Ira asked permission to take the cognac with her so that it would not remind her of shame and, frightening the reception room with her tear-stained face, she left the temple of science. By the way, the purpose of the parish was fulfilled. But…
Just as grapes inevitably become wine, so a woman’s tears inevitably turn into rage.
Someone must be executed. Ira sent her husband and son an SMS with the following content:
“We are having a serious conversation. Everyone be home by eight.”
Part two. Court
I must say that my friend is the living embodiment of the classic aphorism: “In our house, dad decides everything, and who’s dad is decided by mom.” Moreover, her husband is by no means a koala, but his rights are still limited. But the children (13 and 16, I think) are completely drill, breathing according to a schedule. At the same time, Ira, of course, considers herself a gentle person with an excellent character and is very offended when she is called Kimchenyra.
At eight in the evening, Ira returned home from work in the company of cognac. Six anxious eyes greeted her in the hallway. Six trembling hands tried to help him take off his coat. Only the cat Dunya behaved like a man. She was the only one who was rewarded with a warm look and at least some word.
Then the trial took place without any preliminaries.
Ira, according to the old Russian tradition, simultaneously acted as a prosecutor, judge, lawyer, investigator, witness and executioner. Dunya is the court secretary. The husband, son and son are the accused.
At the beginning of the proceedings, the mother reported the absolute senselessness of the existence of all three men in HER house. She drags everything on, no one does a damn thing or thinks about anything. All are absolute egoists and helpless slackers. By the way, Irina’s husband is a well-known doctor and is not in poverty at all. But this is just for reference.
The father of the family, accustomed to the status of “eternally guilty,” calmly listened to the prelude and asked:
- Ir, what happened?
- What happened?!
Ira took out a bottle and, piercing the air with her gaze, asked:
- Who did it?!
What followed was a tale of the morning's shame.
Mom, am I going to NN University now??? - the hero of the occasion stammered in surprise. He, as always, however, was the last to know about plans for his future.
- Yes, you do! - Ira barked. “If you, stupid thing, hand over anything!”
The guy had another dream, but there was no point in objecting now, and he became even more sad.
So, who drank the cognac?
- I didn’t drink, can I go? - the younger one breathed out a sigh of relief.
- Maybe friends came to see my brother on Saturday, huh? - Malyuta Skuratov in a skirt knew who to ask and about what. On weekends, the children were left at home alone.
The room smelled of potential betrayal.
The dad who told me this story said that at that moment he was especially tense, worrying whether he had raised a worthy son. On weekends, there was naturally a party at home. He diagnosed it by the cigarette butts on the balcony.
The younger one was silent.
One day, his brother, in the company of friends, tied his legs, put him on a bust of Lermontov, if I’m not mistaken, in the Alexander Garden, and arranged a photo shoot. Another time, the same company threw a condom filled with water from the window onto the guy’s head... And these were still good pranks.
I ask what happened at home over the weekend? -The garrote of my mother’s gaze inevitably tightened.
The younger one was silent.
Twice his replacement shoes were glued together by Moment and once his ski poles were taken away right on the mountain.
Are you deaf?!
- I'm trying to remember.
The elder could not stand it:
- Yes, friends came to see me, but honestly, we didn’t touch the cognac!
- Why are you lying?! - The Eye of Sauron has changed the object of incineration.
- We don’t drink cognac! - the defendant falsetitated. - How can you even drink it...
The doctor calmed down, he raised good children.
But Ira was ready to explode into a billion pieces. An unauthorized party and a drinking schoolboy son were added to the problem of drinking cognac.
I hope you don't suspect me? “I would dilute it with tea so as not to leave evidence,” the experienced head of the family grinned. The younger one probably wrote down his words later. “And Valera gave him cognac for the New Year, let me call him.”
Valera was no less upset by the cognac question than Ira:
- So this is me for YOU! gave... My wife and I have been suffering for a whole week now. She then asks: “Where is my cognac?” I say: “What do you mean yours??? I gave it to someone for New Year, but what? It was in the box!” She hums: “I drink it a little in the evening.” I screamed: “Why didn’t you take it out of the box, you fool!?” And now the village, guess what, says: “The box is so beautiful, I couldn’t throw it away.” Forgive me for God's sake, new from me.
The doctor told Ira about this. In response, she voiced the universal female position:
“Your friends are idiots, their wives are fools, and you, idiot, couldn’t check what they were giving you.”
The thought that she herself had not checked what she was giving did not occur to her.
But she's a girl, she can do anything.
P.S. But the older brother, they say, respected the younger one. This is what the story is about.
© Alexander Tsypkin
Truly noble. Those who know how to drink it are also considered noble. Yes, yes, this requires special abilities to feel every note of this delicious drink.
Cognac is usually given as a token of gratitude. And in general, of all alcoholic drinks this is the most common gift.
Cognac has been revered at all times. That’s why there are so many sayings about him, some of which we will give you:
1. “Cognac - the liquor of the gods” (V. Hugo)And you can’t argue with Victor Hugo. Fortunately, this liqueur is available to us mere mortals.
2. Every cognac is, without a doubt, brandy, but far from it every brandy- cognac. (French proverb)Perhaps this is worth remembering so as not to be branded a fool and ignoramus.
3. “It’s easy to make wonderful cognac. All you need for this is a great-grandfather, grandfather and father who devoted their whole lives to this” (Jean-Paul Camus)Indeed, behind every cognac there are great dynasties. Only such cognacs are wildly popular all over the world. And those who don’t have a father, grandfather or great-grandfather who devoted their entire lives to cognac should not despair: after all, we can try everything that someone else’s “cognac” relatives once created. Reaping the benefits is not always a bad thing, believe me!
4. Good cognac is like a woman. Don't try to take it by storm. Caress it, warm it in your hands before you put your lips on it. (Winston Churchill) 
Well, here is the question about how to drink cognac correctly. So, if you keep forgetting about this, then at least remember the comparison that Churchill made. He really knows a lot! Both in cognac and in women!
5. By the way, here is another quote from him:
Never be late for dinner, smoke Havana cigars and drink armenian cognac. 6. Smart people believe that God created man only as an intermediate link between himself and the height of perfection - a glass of cognac and a slice of lemon. (Joseph Brodsky) 7. I wonder how forty-year-old cognac compares with lightly salted cucumber? They will probably experience mutual awkwardness. (Quote from the work “Night Watch” by Sergei Lukyanenko) 
And to make sure that all the above quotes are true, it’s time to buy cognac at the WineStreet store. Here it is for every taste, but always excellent.