Dinner events are an exam for every person on their knowledge of etiquette and good manners. It’s hard to imagine modern life without going to a restaurant or visiting. Compliance with the rules will help both the guest and the host of the event appear in society as a well-mannered individual with properly instilled communication skills.

What it is?

Often the concepts of “ethics” and “etiquette” are equated or combined. Ethics has a broader meaning; when talking about it, one should keep in mind the personal moral values ​​of the individual. Such human traits are cultivated from early childhood. Typically, the depth and strength of an individual’s morality depend on interpersonal relationships in the family (family model), methods of upbringing, efforts of educational institutions aimed at instilling good manners in schoolchildren, friendly environment, and personal character traits.

Etiquette is a set of specific rules that any well-bred person must adhere to., these are norms of behavior accepted by society for society as a whole or for a specific individual in particular. You can be a highly moral person with extremely correct moral values, but not know good manners. And vice versa.

Table etiquette is the rules of how a person should behave in a restaurant, guests, at a picnic, the order of relationships between men and women, people of different ranks and ages at such events.

Any educated person should know the basics of table etiquette. Anyone who wants to achieve certain heights in life, get promoted on the career ladder, or get into high social circles must learn and follow the rules of good manners thoroughly.

Standards and regulations

You can identify the basic elements of how you should behave during a feast. Such rules are known and understandable for both children and adults. Therefore, you should start instilling good manners in yourself and the younger generation from the following basics:

• Compliance with etiquette proxemics. Proper placement of guests at the table is important. Thus, the host of the event has a place at the head of the table, all important, honorary and senior guests are seated near the host on the right and left hand, youth and children are at the opposite end of the table. Sometimes the youngest are given a separate children's table.
• It is very important to monitor what intonation prevails in the voice during a conversation, the timbre, volume, tone, and speed of speech. The voice should sound clear, you should not speak too quickly, and loud exclamations are unacceptable. You can't talk with your mouth full.
• At the table you need to watch your gestures and posture. You cannot lounge on a chair, put your elbows on the table, sit with your cheek resting with your hand, cross your legs, or wave your arms, especially if they are holding instruments.
• At the table you cannot start a conversation that could provoke an argument. Politics, religion, health and money are closed topics of conversation. You also cannot discuss your diet, alcohol restrictions, or foods you are allergic to. You should silently set aside the inappropriate dish and replace alcohol with any other drink.

• A linen napkin should be spread on your lap, this will prevent your clothes from becoming dirty, and you will also have the opportunity to discreetly wipe your hands on it.
• You can start eating when everyone has food on their plates, and also after the host of the holiday starts the meal.
• If while eating you come across a piece that is impossible to chew or a bone, you should discreetly bring the napkin to your lips and remove the inedible element.
• During the feast, you should turn off your phone or put it on silent mode. Under no circumstances should you place it next to the plate on the table.
• A woman should place her handbag or clutch on a chair behind her, and a large bag on the floor or hang it on the back of a chair. Sometimes restaurants offer a special chair for bags, you can use it. You cannot even put bags and packages on the table for a while.
• If cutlery or food falls on the floor, you should not focus on this; you need to call the waiter and ask him to bring a new one. You cannot bend under the table and pick up a fallen object.
• You should not use a toothpick at the dinner table. When there is a pause in the conversation, you need to apologize and leave the table. You can remove a stuck piece of food in the restroom.

The host of the event should not place toothpicks on the dining table; their place during the feast is the bathroom. The same rule applies if there is a need to clear your nose. Blowing your nose at the table while eating is indecent, and this gesture will also be unpleasant for other guests.

Good manners for a meal

Before going to an event, you should become more aware of its nature. This can help in choosing an outfit, and for women – also in choosing hairstyle and makeup.

If the event is of an official nature, most likely all guests were offered programs. They usually indicate the start time, the time of the entertainment or official part, the time of the buffet and the end of the evening.

Informal gatherings are often more intimate and relaxed. Men can neglect ties, and ladies wear floor-length evening dresses. However, this does not exempt you from observing etiquette at the table.

A date in a restaurant: rules for a man and a woman

Usually, at the entrance to the restaurant, guests are greeted by a hostess or head waiter. An employee of the establishment offers his customers free tables and calls the waiter to take the order. If such a position is not available, you can ask any waiter to help you find a place or decide on your own. The man accompanies his lady to her place, usually on the left, and helps her sit on a chair.

• The waiter brings the menu and gives the guests time to make a choice. The right of primacy in choosing a dish belongs to the woman. That being said, there is a common mistake that women often make. It is absolutely forbidden to say “Order something to suit your taste.” Correct interpretation – “Please advise what is best to order? "
• The man makes the order to the waiter after listening to the woman’s wishes.
• Girls should not choose dishes that are too cheap, as this may hint to a man that, in her opinion, he is not wealthy enough. But choosing the most expensive dishes for a woman can cause unnecessary speculation.

• The specifics of the restaurant should be taken into account. If the event is held in a Mediterranean restaurant, you do not need to order borscht or dumplings.
• If the choice is difficult, you can call the waiter and clarify what ingredients are in the dish and what the cooking time is.
• You should not address the waiter first name; usually the employees of the establishment have a name badge with their name written on it.
• While waiting for an order, you should start a small talk. The topic of the conversation should be general; you should not go into details or go deeper. The interlocutors should look each other in the eyes, speak quietly so as not to disturb others, and also create an intimate atmosphere for the date.
• While the dishes are being prepared, the waiter may bring a bottle of wine as an aperitif. A male guest should not uncork it himself, nor should he pour the drink. This is the waiter's job. There is no need to wait for the waiter to pour a second glass. The lady is served first, then the man can pour himself a drink. The glass should be filled a little less than halfway.
• The glass should be held by the stem with three fingers. Thus, it will remain as clean as possible, and this is important for the aesthetic component, which is key to the concept of etiquette.

• To notify the waiter about a change of dish, you need to place cutlery diagonally on top of the plate. A fork and knife connected at the free end indicate that the meal is not over yet. It should be remembered that it is strictly forbidden to put cutlery on the table after use; their place is only on the plate.
• You should not try your partner's dish. The only way to know what it tastes like is to order one.
• In a restaurant, it is customary to eat slowly, enjoying the taste and the process. Even if the feeling of hunger is very strong, you should follow your partner’s pace, otherwise he will perceive this as an escape or a desire to quickly leave the restaurant.
• When dinner is finished, the napkin is placed to the left of the plate.
• The gentleman pays first. A woman should not interfere, asking “How much?” “or try to pay for your half by putting money into the man’s pocket.
• If a man and a woman have a friendly relationship, it is possible to pay the check 50/50, then the man, having examined the check, tells the woman the amount of her order, and they agree on a tip.

A business meeting

In the modern world, very often business meetings take place in restaurants and cafes. This is especially true during international visits in the interests of business. The receiving party introduces the partners to the customs and culture of their country. In this case, the invited party should familiarize themselves with the traditions before the event so as not to offend their partners. Generally speaking, the following rules must be observed:

• First of all, a business meeting is a solution to a business issue. If it does not take place at lunchtime, then you should limit yourself to a cup of coffee or tea.
• When meeting with a partner, you should adhere to the main principle: time is money. You can begin to resolve the issue immediately after the greeting, without being distracted by small talk.
• After discussing the issue, you should briefly summarize the meeting; if there is time left, move on to abstract topics in order to maintain personal relationships.
• During international feasts, the inviting party pays. If a business meeting is limited to coffee or tea, then everyone pays for themselves.

Customs of different countries of the world

Historically, food intake among different peoples of the world developed in its own way, taking into account national characteristics, the structure of life, the influence of conquerors, cultural and historical facts. In many countries, the rules of table etiquette overlap with each other. Thus, a general international etiquette can be identified, but there is always room for originality.

In Russia

Russia is a large international country in which pan-European norms of behavior at the table have been officially adopted. However, given that there are more than 190 nationalities in our country, when traveling around it, you can encounter unusual traditions and norms of behavior at the table.

The Tatars place great importance on etiquette at the table. The head of the family starts the meal first, only then the rest of the family members and guests. They leave the table only when the head of the family has left. Praise is offered to Allah before and after meals.

The peoples of the Caucasus have other characteristics. Each family member has his own role, which must be respected without controversy. It is worth noting an important feature: men and women in the Caucasus do not eat together at the same table. Men eat food first, only then women and children.

Any large feast in the Caucasus must have a manager - a “toastmaster”. The oldest and most honored guest of the event can become a toastmaster. He makes toasts and gives others the right to speak. A Caucasian feast without toast is not a feast. They are distinguished by extraordinary pomp and exaltation of the master's merits.

Among the Mongolian and Buryat peoples, a guest at the table is first offered a bowl of tea or vodka. The guest, having taken the bowl, must put the thumb of his right hand into the drink and splash it towards the fireplace. It is interesting that this custom has actually been preserved in some places to this day. Of course, the customs of many nations are gradually weakening, and more and more families are beginning to adhere to European standards of etiquette.

However, when traveling across vast Russia, you should study the peculiarities of life of the local residents before heading to one or another corner of the vast homeland. This knowledge is necessary in order not to offend or offend the hosts, as well as to show respect for their culture and traditions.

In France

For those lucky enough to receive an invitation to dinner in France, it’s worth knowing:

• Lunch and dinner in France always begins with an aperitif; it is selected depending on the region. The French don’t need a reason to drink a glass of wine; they start drinking wine from adolescence. The wine is selected strictly for the dish that is expected. If it is fish - dry white wine, meat - dry red.
• The French usually eat out, as they don’t usually cook. Cafes, bistros and restaurants host meetings with friends, relatives, and just family dinners. Sometimes men and women visit cafes to drink a cup of coffee and read a book or newspaper.
• The French also love family holiday dinners. They usually consist of several servings, each of which contains several dishes. The feeding process itself is carried out from right to left.
• While guests are being served a new dish, you should not keep your hands under the table or on your knees - such a gesture can be regarded as distrust. You should lower your wrists to the corner of the tabletop.
• Large feasts among close friends and relatives are held with complex table settings, and all generally accepted norms of etiquette are observed.

• You should be careful when using spices. You shouldn’t be too zealous - this may offend the hostess or cook, as it can assume that you didn’t like the dish, that they want to “embellish” it.
• In France, it is not customary to ask for more wine or a change of wine. The French believe that only a specific wine can be consumed with a specific dish. Also, do not add ice to a glass of wine. Temperature changes will affect the experience of the drink, and melting ice will change the taste.

In general, French etiquette has the same basic aspects as in Russia and throughout Europe. In the customs of this country, it is not customary to rush, so the French are very attentive to all table rules and strictly follow them; a guest of this country must also show respect for the culture and remember etiquette.

In England

The British are very scrupulous about observing etiquette, especially at the table. Even among close friends and relatives, dinner follows all the rules of good manners. It can be said that The main rule of etiquette in England is adherence to etiquette.

At the table you should use utensils according to their intended purpose. The knife is held strictly in the right hand, the fork in the left. It is not allowed to rearrange the cutlery; in addition, the sharp end of the knife and fork always faces towards the plate.

An unusual rule, but if the invited guest is allergic to any ingredient or has special food requirements, the hosts should be notified 2 days before the event. At a large table in England it is unacceptable to have an intimate conversation with only one guest, The topic should be common to everyone, and you should not contact a stranger.

You should not reach across the table to take any dish; you should ask for it to be passed. However, you are also not supposed to pass it back; you must place the plate in an empty space next to you.

Each time a new dish is served to a guest, you should say “thank you.” If there is a common dish on the table, you should not put too much on your plate, you need to put enough so that after the end of the feast the plate is clean. Otherwise, the owner may think that the guest did not like the dish.

In Korea

In Korea, it is also not customary to leave uneaten rice or too much of another dish on your plate. Also, you should not use a spoon and chopsticks at the same time, stir the soup with utensils, select certain pieces and separate them from the main dish. Everyone needs to finish lunch at the same time.

Sometimes in Korean restaurants the waiter serves the table without leaving the table. His task is to ensure that guests always have food on their plates. Therefore, a satiated guest needs to leave a small piece of the uneaten dish, which will be a signal that the supplement is no longer required. The same rule applies to drinks.

After the end of the feast, the chopsticks or spoon should be returned to their original position, where they were before the start of the event. The eldest person at the table usually pays the bill, rather than everyone paying for themselves.

In China

The Chinese are very jealous of their traditions and customs, strictly follow them themselves and are very happy when foreign guests try to adhere to them.

The Chinese begin their meal with flower tea. This drink acts as an aperitif and also entertains the crowd until the rest of the invited guests arrive.

The Chinese, like the Russians, love to toast and drink alcohol at the table. During the toast, you must stand, and then lightly clink the edges of your glasses. You can only drink from a full container; if the glass is half empty, you should wait until the person responsible for pouring the drinks fills it.

The Chinese will be very pleased if foreign guests use chopsticks while eating. Moreover, it is not at all necessary to hold them correctly. Both convenient and correct. However, it is very uncivil to use such a traditional device for other purposes. You should not use sticks as a pointer, chew them, or just put them in your mouth. During breaks between dishes, chopsticks are placed on a special stand; they cannot be left on the plate, and sticking them into food is offensive.

First, the first courses are served - soups, which are the only portions, then the “main food” - rice or noodles, and the evening ends with dessert. You shouldn’t eat too much and overeat; a feast in China is an occasion to taste different dishes and enjoy their taste.

In Turkey

Turkey's national customs are gradually being replaced under Western influence. Restaurants and behavior there have completely adopted the rules of international etiquette. But in Turkish houses you can still encounter the fact that the owners observe the peculiarities of life that personify the history of the country.

For those who were invited to visit, you should know:

• When entering a Turkish house, you should take off your shoes on the threshold in front of the door. It is unacceptable to enter a house or apartment wearing street shoes.
• Turks eat at a low round table, sit cross-legged on the floor, with their feet hidden under the tabletop.
• You should never refuse food offered, as this may offend the hosts. You should try at least a small piece and praise the dish.
• Turks serve common dishes on a tray. Each guest fills his plate with his hand or spoon. You should not choose “better” pieces - this is also indecent.
• The meal should begin after the approval of the head of the family.
• The feast usually lasts at least two hours. Turks follow the order of dishes, so after the main serving there is a serving of tea, coffee, and sweets. They eat leisurely, enjoying the process.
• It’s also not worth staying for a long time visiting. You should politely thank them for lunch or dinner and leave.

Compliance with generally accepted international rules of etiquette is the best proof of good upbringing. Any country in the world will appreciate good manners. Tourists and foreigners are often forgiven for not knowing the peculiarities of the country’s traditions and way of life, but they should not abuse their position.

There are several rules that should be followed when visiting another country or in an unfamiliar company:

• You can bring dessert for tea and give it to the hostess when you meet;
• You should not sit down at the table before the host invites you;
• You should not start eating before the owner starts;
• There is no need to build a mountain of food on your plate; it is better to put a little of each dish, eat it, and only then reach for more. This method will protect you from overeating and will also allow you to leave your plate clean;
• Don't ask too many questions to the hosts or other guests;
• You should always be modest and friendly, be sure to thank the owners and note the culinary talent of the hostess.

In a difficult and incomprehensible situation, adhere to the principle of common sense. The main task is not to cause inconvenience to others, even if you have to sacrifice your well-being.

Hello friends!

Today we’ll talk about table etiquette, how to behave in a restaurant, consider the basic rules of table etiquette at the table during lunch or a special event (wedding, birthday).

I'm sure some of you know the basic rules of table manners, but many will learn a lot of interesting things from this post.

Basic concepts of table etiquette

Etiquette– a set of historically established rules of human behavior in society. The rules of etiquette are based on instilling in people attention, politeness, and respect for each other.

In particular, the rules provide for the ability to behave at the table and use cutlery correctly; both waiters and guests need to know all this. Very often, during your work, guests ask questions regarding these rules; they need to be known and followed.

The most important thing is, when you see a huge number of different cutlery and plates on the table, do not get lost and observe the following:

1. Each plate or cutlery at the table has its own purpose. The most important rule to remember: all cutlery located to the left of the plate while eating is held with the left hand, and cutlery located to the right, respectively, in the right hand.
2. Start taking cutlery from the outer ones, gradually approaching those that are closer to the plate. In the picture above, first the appetizer fork 2, then the table fork 3, on the right first the knife 9, then for the first course use the spoon 8 and in combination with the fork 3 use the table knife 7.
3. A knife can only be used to cut food on a plate or hold what you take with a fork. The main device is the fork, the knife is only auxiliary, and in no case should you eat from the knife or transfer the knife to your left hand and the fork to your right.
4. When they bring you meat or fish, you don’t need to cut it all into a plate. It is necessary to cut off a piece and eat it, then just cut off the next one, since chopped food cools down faster and loses its taste.
5. When you have poured drinks into glasses, ask to remove those that you will not need during lunch (unless the waiter himself does this). Extra wine glasses clutter the table and can accidentally be caught and broken, so it’s better to remove them from the table.

Basic rules of table etiquette

Additions to the rules of etiquette for waiters

1. If guests ask you to serve some fruit from a common vase, be sure to use tongs or, in extreme cases, a paper napkin. You cannot take fruit with your bare hand and serve it to a guest. You need to take a clean plate from the utility table in one hand, tongs for laying out in the other and put the fruit that you asked for or make assorted on the plate, then put this plate on the guest. Not everyone wants to eat fruit that is served with bare hands; it is not hygienic.
2. If you are carrying dirty dishes (in full view of guests in the hall), plates to the sink and a piece of food or a dirty napkin falls from them, do not lift them with your hands. Go to the utility room, take a broom and dustpan, and only use them to clean up what has fallen on the floor.
3. Give a little more attention to guests of honor, the elderly, and children at the table. It’s just that we often see a picture where, in a company of guests, the waiter finds a young, attractive woman and gives her the most attention, while the birthday boy and the elders at the table feel a lack of attention and this may affect their attitude towards you and the amount of remuneration when calculating.
4. Not all guests know the rules of etiquette, much less follow them, but waiters are obliged to know them and tell guests if they ask for your advice on how to correctly do this or that action at the table. There is no need to smartly and arrogantly teach guests how and what to do correctly until you are asked to do so. You can offend the guest and humiliate him in the eyes of others, be tactful and smart, you don’t always need to say what you think.
5. When you are in a restaurant, learn to behave tactfully, do not shout, do not laugh loudly, do not put your fingers in your nose, mouth or ears, preferably do not cough or sneeze. Control your hands and do not touch different parts of the body with them, try not to adjust your hair in front of guests. Many people do actions out of habit and completely automatically (correcting or touching themselves where they are not needed), which are noticeable to the guest and not very pleasant. Keep this in mind.

There are many more rules of etiquette, I have presented the main ones to you. If you follow them and apply them yourself, you can easily recommend them to guests in the restaurant.

How to use a linen napkin correctly

In addition to the fact that a beautifully folded, starched and carefully ironed linen napkin adds solemnity and aesthetics, decorates the table and gives it a solemn appearance, it also has its main purpose.

The main purpose of the napkin is to protect the guest’s suit or dress from crumbs, accidental drops of fat or drinks.

Before you start eating, take a napkin from the table, unfold it, fold it in half and place it on your lap. If you need to wipe your mouth or lips, or lightly wipe your fingers, feel free to use a linen napkin for these purposes.

It’s no longer customary to tuck in a napkin at the table))

If your hands are too dirty, then you should go and wash your hands thoroughly in the toilet, since you won’t be able to dry them thoroughly with a napkin.

Some Chinese and Japanese restaurants serve damp, warm terry napkins for this purpose; this is very convenient for wiping your hands.

Previously, in films, one could see how a napkin was placed at one corner behind the collar so as not to stain clothes while eating. Nowadays this is considered a rule of “bad taste”, times change))

It is also considered uncivil to additionally wipe frage (cutlery) before eating, thereby you do not trust the owners of the establishment. If you doubt the cleanliness of the cutlery, ask the waiter to replace them.

A few more rules for waiters that will increase your tips))

The main thing is to be sincere with guests and follow several rules:

• A friendly tone and smile are your main weapons;
• The guest will always see and appreciate the desire to help;
• Learn to think one step ahead of your guest. If he finishes eating another snack, you should already have a replacement plate ready. If a guest finishes a glass of wine, you must prepare the wine and, after asking permission, refill it. If a guest at a banquet begins to eat crayfish or game with his hands, prepare and place a vase with lemon for his hands. Over time, you will learn to think one step ahead, practice));
• Greet guests and be sure to see them off at the entrance, regardless of the size of the reward.

Now you are familiar with the basic rules of table etiquette and recommendations for their application.

All the best, see you soon!

With respect, Nicholai

Notes on the topic:

Since 1996, he has gained vast experience working as a waiter, bartender, and administrator in cafes, nightclubs and restaurants. I have experience working at banquets, buffets, outdoor events, I know many colleagues in the catering industry, and I am the author of a video course for waiters.

Discussion: 7 comments

After all, the rules of table etiquette have been tested for centuries, so that the behavior of everyone present at the table is harmonious and rational.

Answer

We set the table for a special event in accordance with the rules of table etiquette - laying out the tablecloth, arranging the dishes, glasses and cutlery.

Answer

Good article, but, unfortunately, the mistake is constantly repeated - the word
"eat" is not used. Only the word "is"

Answer

1. Tatyana, the word “eat” or “eat” is used 6 times in the article, this is not so much for such a volume of material. As for whether I’m right or wrong, read for yourself, there are many posts, you can use the verb “eat” or not, and you will understand that it’s more likely you, not me, who are wrong.

   Answer

I don’t even understand why tipping has become a norm. Include this money in the cost of meals. All these “givings” are killing me. In all places. How is a waiter different from a doctor, a teacher, and finally from me? Everyone does their job and nothing more. Hospital patients do not pay me “tips” for the fact that I provide them with a beautiful park on the territory, flower beds and cleanliness. And even if they paid, I wouldn’t take it. Yes, there are also those who don’t take it. When one person gives money to another, he seems to thank him, but he also puts him in a dependent position and humiliates him. I'm not against rewards, but not in this way. I understand that my opinion is an empty phrase, but nevertheless, I expressed it.

Answer

1. Irina, a tip is gratitude for the waiter’s hard work, it’s not a handout or a bribe))
   Thank you for your opinion, by the way, in medicine the demand for money is practiced on a large scale, at least in Ukraine.

   Answer

   1. Now, in almost all restaurants, tips are included in the bill. This is called a service charge. It turns out that it is not the waiters who receive tips, but the restaurant owners. And if so, then let the owners transfer a certain amount to the waiters from this amount, and not try to get additional payment from us, stipulating that we still have to thank the waiter additionally.

      Answer

It wouldn't hurt for each of us to brush up on the rules of table etiquette, and perhaps even learn something new about how to behave while eating. The most important rules of etiquette that absolutely everyone should use.

Each of us notices when in a cafe at the next table someone eats sloppily or secretly wipes their hands on their knees. In the same way, other people notice our mistakes; any behavior is striking and can cause embarrassment. Therefore, it is better to check yourself and correct your own behavior if necessary.

How to behave at the table

General rules apply to any situation; they will never be superfluous. The first thing we pay attention to when we see a person is his posture. Posture characterizes not only a person’s behavior or state, but also reveals the secrets of his character.

An insecure person will fidget nervously on the edge of his chair, a complex person will try to slouch in order to become less noticeable. Sit upright, but so that you are comfortable. Your hands can be placed on the edge of the table or on your knees, and it is better to press your elbows to your sides.

By the way, in order to learn how to hold your elbows near your body, in Soviet times it was advised to periodically train - have lunch, holding a couple of weighty books with your elbows. This is necessary so that the correct bodily pattern is formed, and you hold your elbows flawlessly even when you don’t think about it at all.

The rules of table etiquette cover almost all situations that can happen to a person and give a clear recommendation on what to do in a given situation.

Naturally, table etiquette at home and restaurant etiquette are somewhat different. However, there are rules that are appropriate in any situation:

• Don't talk too loudly;
• Do not move the fork or spoon with food too far from your mouth;
• You should not make sounds while eating;
• You should eat calmly, without unnecessary haste.

Restaurant

The rules of conduct in a restaurant imply some composure - you need to behave correctly and with dignity in order to make a pleasant impression on others.

1. The man must let the lady go first, but if a group of men or women goes to the restaurant, then everyone is on equal terms or relies on the initiator of the dinner.
2. If several people are supposed to meet at dinner, and some of them are late, then by mutual agreement with the rest of the guests, you can wait about a quarter of an hour for the latecomers. A longer wait is a sign of disrespect for guests who arrived on time.
3. If you happen to be late, you should apologize and then simply join the others. You should not draw special attention to the fact of being late and explain the reason, just join in the table conversation.
4. When a man and a woman meet in a restaurant, the man must read the menu and offer his companion some dishes. For a girl in this case to express her indifference is a sign of bad manners. Etiquette in a restaurant implies the participation of the lady in choosing dishes.
5. In a restaurant, you should not have a conversation in a raised voice or laugh loudly. If this happened by accident, it makes sense to apologize to other visitors and be quieter. Observe table etiquette, and if someone behaves inappropriately at the next table, you should inform the waiter about it.
6. You need to start eating when the waiter has brought out the ordered dishes to everyone present. If the person who is waiting for his dish to be prepared does not mind, he can make an invitation to others to start eating.
7. It is strictly forbidden to perform hygiene procedures at the table - wiping your face, neck and hands with napkins, combing your hair or applying lipstick. If you need to pay attention to your appearance, it is better to do this in a special room. Table etiquette also does not welcome traces of lipstick on dishes. Before starting to eat, the girl must carefully remove the lipstick with a napkin.
8. Any interaction with food also looks uncivilized - food is on the table to be eaten. Taking photos for Instagram, blowing on the soup, meticulously picking at the salad, commenting on the ingredients is indecent.
9. If you come across a piece of cartilage or a bone in some dish, you need to carefully return the inedible element back to the spoon and move it to a plate (or napkin).

How to handle devices

1. Under no circumstances should you check the cleanliness of the cutlery, and if you do notice a cloudy spot on a fork or spoon, you need to quietly draw the waiter’s attention to this oversight and politely ask for a replacement.
2. In most restaurants, the table is set in advance, and the cutlery is laid out on both sides of the serving plate.
3. Don’t be confused if there are more dishes on the table than you expected to see - everything has its purpose, and if you are in doubt about which fork or spoon you should take, you can always see how the other guests solve this problem.
4. Those utensils that lie to the left of the plate are used with the left hand, and those that are laid out to the right must be held in the right hand.
5. When serving complex dishes, each dish requires its own utensils, so if you are in doubt about which fork you should take, take the farthest one - the one that is furthest from the edge of the plate. As you change dishes, you will gradually move closer to the closest appliances.
6. The knife is used either for cutting food or for spreading pates and butter (for example, during breakfasts). You should not try pieces from a knife.
7. Meat or fish should be cut sequentially as it is eaten. Cutting the entire portion at once is bad form. It is generally accepted that this way the dish cools down faster and loses its main flavor nuances.

Learn in advance a few differences between different cutlery so as not to get into trouble.

Forks

• Second hot dishes are eaten with a table fork; it has four teeth, and its length is slightly less than the diameter of the plate and is placed on the left;
• a fish fork is used for hot fish dishes, it looks smaller than a diner and has four short teeth, a fish fork is easy to recognize by its indentations - they are needed to separate the bones;
• snack fork - a smaller duplicate of a table fork, used to eat cold appetizers;
• dessert fork - for pies, small, matches the size of the dessert plate and looks atypical;
• a fruit fork equipped with two prongs, usually served with a fruit knife;
• the remaining forks are considered auxiliary, they are placed next to the dish that needs to be eaten with them.

Knives

• Any second hot dish is eaten with a table knife, it is placed to the right of the plate, the blade is turned towards the plate;
• a fish knife is dull and resembles a spatula, used to separate the flesh of fish from the bones;
• the snack knife is small and has serrations;
• the dessert and fruit knife look similar - they are the smallest.

Spoons

• a tablespoon is the largest, lies to the right of the plate;
• a dessert spoon is served with desserts that do not require cutting - soft puddings, jellies and whipped cream;
• an ice cream spoon is served with a bowl;
• the cocktail spoon has a very narrow and long handle;
• a teaspoon can be served with any hot drink;
• coffee spoon is the smallest, served only with black coffee.

Dialogues and behavior at the table

Table etiquette involves not only the use of cutlery, correct positioning and good posture, but also the manner of conducting dialogues and conversations.

It is worth noting that table etiquette strictly prohibits discussing provocative issues that could lead to a serious conflict - therefore, you should refrain from comments about money, politics and religion.

How to behave at the table and what to say? Be sure to look at the person who is speaking to you, listen without interrupting, and only then respond. If you consider some of your interlocutor’s questions inappropriate for a meal, gently suggest discussing this a little later. In all other cases, you should answer easily and naturally.

The restaurant also does not imply heated arguments - refrain from inappropriate comments and lighten the mood with a sweet joke if someone else raises their voice.

You shouldn’t have a conversation with just the two of you; involve the rest of the meal participants in the conversation.. For example, if the conversation is about a recent vacation, you can ask one of the interlocutors whether he is going to go on vacation in the near future or what vacation spots he prefers.

It is also good form in any table conversation to praise the host, cook or initiator of the meeting - find a few kind words to note the general atmosphere of the evening.

A short course in etiquette

• Do as the majority does.
• Don't point out others' mistakes, as a last resort, you can say this quietly in an undertone and only to your neighbor at the table.
• Don't be away from your meal for too long.
• When leaving the table, apologize.
• Try everything and eat what you like.
• Diets, eating disorders, restrictions on alcoholic beverages and diet are not discussed at a common table.

It is better to study some rules of behavior at the table by looking at pictures - look at the basic table setting diagrams, you can also watch a video on how to properly hold this or that device.

Table etiquette is not that difficult if you devote a little time to it, and following all the rules will help you present your best side.

The image of a modern successful person includes many details. One of them is the ability to behave in society and observe table manners. This way you will show yourself as a well-mannered and intelligent person.

What it is?

The history of ethics is very long. Some other cave people knew how to behave beautifully and tried to teach this to others. Etiquette standards have been formed over time and improved each time. Now this science teaches us proper behavior at the table.

Small details immediately catch the eye and can spoil the first impression of a person, so it would be useful to refresh your memory of already known rules of etiquette or learn new ones. Experts recommend teaching children the ability to handle cutlery and set the table from a very early age, especially since modern manufacturers offer a wide selection of safe, bright and beautiful forks and spoons. It is believed that this skill should be practiced not only at a party or in a restaurant, but also at home.

Ethics must be present at every meal. This way you will better understand its fundamentals, norms and regulations.

Let's consider the basic rules that relate to table setting and cultural behavior at the table.

How to behave at the table?

Eating is one of those basic processes that inevitably accompanies people throughout their lives. During business lunches, partners come to an agreement and sign important contracts. Not a single festive event is complete without a buffet or a grand feast. The family feels the strongest unity at the table, since over a plate of food you can discuss all the problems and rejoice at the successes of your household. Having lunch or dinner together brings people together and improves the quality of communication.

It is much more pleasant to deal with a person who follows the rules of etiquette, does not cause inconvenience to others, and eats quietly and carefully. It's never too late to correct mistakes in your behavior and become a more cultured person.

Behavior rules

Let's take a closer look at the features of cultural behavior during meals.

First of all, you should pay attention to the manner of sitting on a chair. A person’s posture speaks not only about the ability to behave in society, but also about habits and character. A confident person always sits with a straight back and takes up most of the seating area, his posture is casual and relaxed. This is the body position that is most appropriate at the table.

When positioned at the table, the hands are placed on the edge of the table, and the elbows are slightly pressed to the body. A slight forward lean is allowed for ease of eating.

There is a little trick to learning how to sit correctly at the table. To do this, etiquette experts recommend holding two small books to your body with your elbows. This simple exercise will help you remember the correct position of your body and arms during a meal.

When eating, you need to be quiet and careful. Cutlery should not be placed far from the face. A person should eat calmly and slowly, chewing each piece of food thoroughly with his mouth closed. Smacking, slurping, slurping or making other sounds is prohibited. And you definitely shouldn’t talk with your mouth full, as it looks extremely unsightly.

If the dish is very hot, you should wait until it cools down. There is no need to blow loudly on a dish or spoon, otherwise it may show the person’s bad manners. This is especially true for girls and schoolchildren.

There are a number of simple rules by following which you can learn the correct behavior during a meal:

• The distance from the body to the edge of the table should be such that the person sitting does not experience discomfort.
• Elbows and personal items, such as a wallet, keys or cosmetic bag, should not be placed on the table. This is considered bad manners.
• Don't reach across the table for food. Just ask the person nearby to pass you the plate or salt shaker you need, and then politely thank them for their help.
• To keep clothes clean, you can use a special textile napkin, which is placed on your knees before starting a meal. Small children are allowed to tuck a napkin into their collar.
• Products from shared dishes should be taken using the utensils designed for this purpose. The only exceptions are sugar, cookies and fruits.

Often lunch or dinner takes place in a restaurant. For such a case, there are special etiquette recommendations:

• The man lets his companion pass first. He must open the door for her, take her outerwear, pull up a chair. If the company consists of both women and men, then the meeting takes on a more informal character.
• If several people gather, those delayed will wait no more than 15 minutes. Then the meal begins regardless of whether those who arrived late arrived or not. The person who was delayed apologizes to all the dinner participants and joins the meal. At the same time, it is not necessary to attract the attention of everyone sitting at the table and try to explain the reason for being late.
• When both men and women participate in a dinner, choosing the menu and ordering dishes usually falls on the shoulders of the stronger sex. He can offer his companion certain dishes and order them if she receives consent.
• It is considered good form to start eating only when the dishes have been brought to everyone present at the table. At the same time, those waiting can invite others to start eating even when their dishes are not yet ready.
• You should not demonstratively look at and smell the dishes, carefully examine each ingredient and comment on the composition. It looks indecent.
• The bones should be carefully spat out onto a fork or spoon and placed on the edge of the plate.

No one is immune from awkward situations. For example, if the cutlery fell on the floor, you can ask the waiter to bring a clean set. If an object accidentally breaks, do not panic. Typically in such cases the cost of the damaged property will be added to the invoice.

Etiquette prohibits doing the following things in a restaurant:

• Carry out hygiene procedures while sitting at the table. It is recommended to comb your hair, correct your makeup, and wipe your face or neck with napkins in the restroom. It is also not customary to leave traces of cosmetics on dishes. It is better to blot your lips with a napkin before starting your meal to avoid lipstick marks on the glass.
• Blow noisily on a dish or drink. It is recommended to wait until it cools down and then start eating.
• Call the wait staff loudly, knock on the glass, or snap your fingers. This looks extremely uncivilized.
• Take food from a shared plate using personal cutlery. Common serving forks and spoons are used for this.

Table etiquette is very important. Knowing all its basic tenets, you will be able to make a good impression on others.

Rules for children's behavior at the table

As noted earlier, children should be taught etiquette from a very early age. Children quickly learn new information, and the learning process can easily be turned into a game. First of all, the child must be taught to wash his hands before every meal. At first, the parents themselves set an example and help the child, and then this action will become automatic.

The child should be seated at a common table with all adults so that he gets used to the company. There are special high chairs that will allow the baby to sit on the same level as adults and feel like a full member of the family. During lunch, it is not recommended to turn on the TV, which will distract from the process of eating.

You can tuck a textile napkin into the collar. It will prevent pieces of food and drinks from getting on your clothes. Special plastic forks and knives have been invented for small children. They do not have sharp blades or teeth, so the child will not injure himself, and the bright colors will attract interest.

You should sit straight at the table, you should not sway in your chair and disturb others sitting at the table. Screaming and loud conversations are not allowed.

An important point in the process of teaching a child good manners at the table is the ban on playing with food. It is necessary to explain to children that such behavior is unacceptable and that food should not be smeared on the table.

After eating, you need to thank the hostess for the delicious dinner and ask permission to leave the table. One way to teach your child proper table setting is to involve him in the process of setting the table. Let your baby help arrange the plates and cutlery.

The most important thing is to be patient and not raise your voice. Perhaps the baby will not understand the rules that are unusual for him the first time, but you should not give up and be nervous. The example of other family members will help the child adapt faster and behave correctly.

Features in different countries

Rules of behavior at the table in different countries of the world are somewhat different from what we are used to. Some moments may be completely unusual and exotic for Russia. Let's find out what tourists should pay attention to in order to avoid uncomfortable situations:

• In Japan and Korea, as you know, they eat with the help of special chopsticks. During a meal, they should be placed parallel to the edge of the table or on special stands. But sticking chopsticks into rice is strictly not recommended, as this is a symbol of a funeral.
• On the table in Brazilian establishments In the catering area there is a special token, painted green and red on both sides. The green side indicates that the visitor wants more food to be brought to him. And it often happens that the waiter brings new dishes almost without a break. To limit the hospitality of the service staff, you should turn the token to the red side.
• Georgia famous for its wine. It is not surprising that this drink accompanies almost every meal. Tourists should remember that during a feast it is customary to drink the wine completely after each speech.

• In India and England It is not recommended to eat with the left hand, as in traditional Indian religion this hand is considered unclean. This rule also applies to handshakes and handing over documents.
• Coffee lovers should be careful in Italy, since in this country it is not customary to drink cappuccino after noon. Locals believe that this may have a bad effect on digestion. Another interesting fact: in Italy they do not add Parmesan to pizza or pasta. French etiquette is somewhat similar to Italian.
• Tourists traveling in China, fish is often ordered in restaurants. When choosing a dish like this, you should remember that you cannot turn the portion over. This is a bad omen, which means there is a high probability of the fisherman's boat crashing. After eating the top half of the portion, it would be better to first remove the backbone from the fish and only then continue with the meal.

Before traveling to any country, you should first of all become familiar with the basic accepted rules of etiquette. You need to respect foreign culture and try to avoid uncomfortable situations that may offend local residents.

Table setting

The table should always be properly set, regardless of whether it is a business lunch or a family dinner. This accustoms people to culture and gives the meal a solemn mood. The sight of neatly arranged plates and cutlery makes it much easier to adhere to table manners guidelines.

There are a huge number of ways to set the table, which depend on the time of day, the nature of the event and many other factors.

For a classic table setting that is suitable for any occasion, you can use the following rules:

• There must be a tablecloth on the table. This will give even the most ordinary meal a festive and solemn mood. It is better if the tablecloth is a light shade. Dishes on such a canvas will look stylish. According to the rules, the tablecloth should hang no more than 30 cm from the edge of the table.
• Chairs should be placed with some space between them so that diners can sit comfortably and not touch their neighbors with their elbows.
• At a distance of approximately 2-3 cm from the edge, place a serving plate, which serves as a stand for everything else. Place a deeper bowl on top. Plates for bread and pies are located on the left. Soups and broths are served in a special soup plate or bowl.
• Cutlery is placed on napkins made of cellulose. They are selected to match the tablecloth. Cloth napkins are folded on a plate to protect clothing.

• To the right of the plate are those utensils that are held, respectively, in the right hand. Place the tablespoon so that the convex side is on the bottom. The knife should be with the cutting side facing the plate. The tines of the fork should face up. Place a dessert spoon on top of the plate.
• Some people prefer to drink water with their meals, so placing a glass of clean drinking water in front of the knife is a good idea. In addition to water, the glass can also contain juice, compote or other non-alcoholic drinks.
• Plates with shared dishes are placed in the center of the table. Cutlery for common use should be placed with them.
• Hot drinks are served in a special coffee pot, and the cups are immediately placed on the table. Place a small saucer under the cup and a teaspoon next to it.
• Sugar is poured into a sugar bowl. A serving spoon is served with it. Currently, sugar bowls with a dispenser are often used.
• All dishes must be perfectly clean, without chips or cracks.

Vases with fresh flowers placed in the center of the table also look very beautiful. They will become an additional decoration and give the table a festive look.

How to use the devices?

A person who comes to a restaurant for the first time may get confused in a large number of different cutlery. The following rule will help you feel more confident: cutlery lying on the left side of the plate should be held only in the left hand. Usually these are forks of different sizes. A similar rule applies to cutlery on the right - these can be spoons and table knives.

As an exception, you can take the fork in your right hand if there is a crumbly side dish on the plate: rice, buckwheat, mashed potatoes. In other cases, a table knife can help you put food on your fork.

Sometimes serving includes the presence of several forks and knives at once. To avoid confusion, you can gradually replace cutlery while changing dishes, starting with those farthest from the plate and ending with those closest.

You can remember the following combinations of dishes and cutlery intended for them:

• dessert is eaten with a teaspoon or a special dessert spoon;
• tablespoons are intended for soups and broths;
• a fork in combination with a table knife is used for hot meat dishes;
• there is a special fish knife for fish;
• cold appetizers are usually eaten with a fork and a dinner knife;
• Fruits may be eaten with hands or with special cutlery.

Etiquette rules also determine how to properly hold cutlery in your hand:

• The spoon should be placed in your hand so that your thumb is on the top of the handle. The broth should be scooped away from you to avoid the possibility of drops getting on your clothes. If there is soup with pieces of meat on the table, you should first eat the liquid broth and then cut the meat using cutlery.
• It is recommended to hold the fork so that your fingers are further from the base. In this case, you can hold it either with the teeth down or up. It depends on the type of dish served.
• When using a table knife, the fork is held strictly in the left hand, and the knife in the right. In this case, you can help yourself with your index fingers; they will more accurately direct the pressure of the device.
• The knife can be used to spread butter or pate on a piece of bread. Do not pick up pieces of food from the knife or lick the blade.
• When using a meat knife, remember not to cut the entire portion at once. You need to gradually cut off small pieces and eat them.

By familiarizing yourself with the rules of table etiquette, you will always feel in your place while eating, not only at a party, but also at business functions and in restaurants. The key to success will be your confidence and knowledge. Without further ado, we all know that ethical behavior at the table is essential:

1. Don’t be late when invited to lunch, breakfast, dinner, tea.
2. Do not sit down at the table until the ladies are seated or until the host or hostess invites you to take a seat.
3. Do not offer your left hand to a lady when you accompany her to the table. A man should always offer his right hand to a lady.

4. Do not forget that the lady sitting next to you, especially on your right hand, has the right to your attention. The lady sitting next to you should be occupied regardless of whether you are introduced to her or not.
5. Do not introduce people after the guests have sat down at the table.
6. Don't sit too close to the table or too far from it.
7. Do not put a napkin in your collar or lay it on your chest. The napkin should be placed on your lap.
8. Don't eat soup from the end of a spoon.
9. Don't bend over the plate. Stay as straight as possible.
10. Don't reach across someone else's plate if you want to get something.
11. Don’t take bread with a fork, take it with your hand.
12. Don't bite into a whole piece of bread.
13. Don't butter a whole piece of bread. Break the bread into pieces and spread them.
14. Don't crumble bread into soup.
15. Don't eat from a knife and never put a knife to your mouth.
16. Do not put on a fork with a knife. Take as much as can fit on the fork.
17. Don't eat too fast.
18. Don't fill your mouth with too much food.
19. Do not spread your elbows, they should be pressed to your sides.
20. Don't put your elbows on the table.
21. Don't raise your glass or glass too high.
22. Don’t eat with a spoon what you can eat with a fork.
23. Don’t try to scoop up the last spoon of soup, eat the last piece of meat, etc.
24. Don’t serve your own plate asking for a second helping. It's better not to ask for a second helping at all.
25. Don't spit bones or anything on your plate. The bones should be removed from the mouth with a fork raised to the lips and then placed on a plate. Fruit seeds should be removed discreetly onto a spoon.
26. Do not play with a napkin, fork or other table utensils.
27. Don't wipe your face with a napkin. You can only lightly swipe the napkin over your lips.
28. Do not turn your back on someone else if you intend to talk to your neighbor.
29. Don't talk to another guest through your neighbor.
30. Don't talk with your mouth full.
31. Don’t lean back or slump in your chair. Try to always be calm.
32. Don't drop your knife or fork.
33. Don’t be embarrassed if you do drop the cutlery, ask for another one, without attaching importance to what happened.
34. Don’t use a toothpick at the table if it’s not necessary. At the very least, do it quietly.
35. Don’t constantly treat your guest.
36. Don't DRINK a lot of wine.
37. Don't finish your dish first when you're the host or hostess. Wait until the guests finish eating. This is especially important when the last course is served.
38. Do not ask for a second cup of tea or coffee until all guests have received the first.
39. Don't criticize what is served to the table.
40. Do not refuse any dish, citing the fact that you do not like it or that it is harmful to you. It is best to refuse without explanation.
41. Don’t talk about your illnesses.
42. Don't put a teaspoon in a glass or cup. After stirring the tea or coffee, place the spoon on the saucer.
43. Don't fold your napkin after you've eaten. The napkin should be casually placed on the table.
44. Don’t forget to get up from the table after the women have stood up. Remain standing until they leave the room, and then you can sit down again.
45. Don't read letters or documents at the table