Without trust there is no love. What to do if trust has been undermined so many times that there is practically nothing left of it. Statistics say that 79% of families have this problem. So how can you learn to trust your man?

Inga Admiralskaya (psychologist):

First, let's figure out what prevents you from trusting? Anxiety, fear, bad past experiences, doubts - you can add to this list yourself, because everyone has faced the problem of mistrust. What “takes away” mistrust from a relationship? Closeness, joy, the ability to accept support, lean on another and so on, the list goes on and on. Mistrust is destructive, and if you want to get rid of it, try the following: every time you notice it in yourself, immediately ask yourself the question: “What is happening? Why right now am I feeling distrustful of my partner? Did he really do something that embarrasses me, or am I screwing myself up, are the grievances and disappointments of the past talking to me?” If you are truly confused by a specific action your man has taken, gently ask him what he meant when he did and said something that made you distrustful. This procedure is called a reality check. It helps you test how viable your suspicions are, whether they relate to this particular situation or are a figment of your imagination.

Maria Razbash (psychologist, trainer at the Center for Positive Psychology):

Any harmonious relationship is built on trust. If you want to trust each other, then you need to:

1. Learn to see only those relationships in which you are now. Forget all previous experiences, especially negative ones. After all, what most often happens to us is what we are afraid of - it is not without reason that thought is considered material.

2. There is no need to see signs of betrayal in any situation. Sometimes being late may just be being late. And if he didn’t answer the call right away, then he really was with the authorities. Don't ask for a report.

3. Don't put your partner in a justifying position. Don't make him report to you every step of the way all the time. Your constant reproaches from the category “Again, I was late with Svetka on business?” may lead one to believe that Svetka fully deserves it special attention. Why create an atmosphere of increased interest in other objects?

4. If you want a trusting relationship, then assume that the partner is absolutely honest with you. Stop checking his phone for dangerous SMS and calls. This is very humiliating, both for him and for you.

5. B difficult situations A sense of humor often saves the day. In a transparent situation, try not to catch your partner red-handed, but simply sympathize with him that it turned out so awkward. Don't make scandals!

6. Try to see him in your partner best qualities and tell him about it. Emphasize that you trust him. Since this will more easily set him up for an open and honest relationship.

Keep in mind that unfounded suspicions can become a serious reason for a partner to do something illegal. The logic of the subconscious works as follows: if they suspect me, then at least not in vain!

Here's what our readers think about trust.

One of the most important components of a happy relationship is trust in your loved one. It is very easy to lose it, but sometimes it is very difficult to regain trust. How to learn to trust the man you love? To do this, it is necessary, first of all, to understand what the attitude towards the young man really is.

You should think about why it would seem that a loved one does not yet inspire trust. Perhaps he simply has not earned it yet, or it may be that this person has already lost confidence in himself. If the reason for not trusting your loved one is the first, you need to change your opinion towards people. After all, often after failures in past romances, women cannot trust another man or open up to him.

In this case, a woman should change her views and opinions to the stronger half of humanity. You need to learn to understand that not all men can be classified as traitors, deceivers, etc. What happened should be left behind, but new love can be a wonderful gift of fate.

Therefore, we can conclude that not all young people are the same, each of them is an individual with his own actions, principles and character. There is no need to be afraid of making a mistake, because this is the only way people gain experience and draw any conclusions for themselves.

Rule two

A woman may not trust a man for various reasons. At the beginning of a relationship, there is often a lack of trust between men and women towards each other. But this does not mean at all that the girl does not want to trust her boyfriend. In fact, she is simply afraid of possible misunderstanding.

In this case, you should think about whether you can still share your experiences, secrets and problems with your loved one? After all, in this case it will be much easier to cope with any difficulty, to solve any problem. If a man’s love is real, a woman will never be left alone in difficult times.

Constant silence and attempts to hide any secrets can be regarded by a man as distrust of him.

From here we can draw the second conclusion - you should not hide your problems from your beloved man, you should try to solve them together.

Rule three

A relationship where there is no trust is not considered happy. Therefore, you need to learn to trust. After all, only in this case can you truly love a person and be confident in his feelings.

As noted above, trust is very easy to lose. And what to do if it happens that your loved one betrayed or deceived, or lost confidence in himself?

Many would say that the best solution to such a problem is to end the relationship with this person. Yes, that's exactly what he should have done, if only he weren't so loved. In this case, you need to try to understand why the man did this.

Betrayal, which causes mistrust, can be caused by betrayal, failure to provide assistance at the right time, or deception. The best solution to understand why the young man did this is to sit down and talk to him about it.

You should find out what prompted your loved one to do such an act. He may have guessed that by doing this he would only disappoint his girlfriend. But he did it anyway. What to do in this case - to forgive or not - each woman will decide for herself. It will also depend on what the conversation is like. That is, during the conversation you can understand whether the young man regrets what happened or not.

This rule will sound like this: if a man is very expensive, there is no need to do hasty conclusions, first you need to find out the reason why he acted this way and not otherwise.

What to do next?

We will assume that the young man deserves forgiveness. In this case, another problem may arise - how to again learn to trust a person who has already betrayed you once? Getting forgiveness is much easier than winning a girl's trust again. How can you trust a guy again, knowing that he has already betrayed you once, and perhaps will do the same a second time? Here you should look for the reason in yourself.

If a girl truly loves her boyfriend, doesn’t want to lose him and has decided to forgive him, she should think about whether there is any point in not trusting him? Of course, it will be difficult to trust a person again after betrayal, but it will have to be done. You cannot be sure that the young man will not deceive you a second time; only in this case, going through difficulties, disappointments and pleasant moments, can you become happy.

According to psychologists, relationships in which a man loses the trust of his significant other and then gains it again are stronger and more reliable than those where everything is smooth. Such statistics allow us to conclude that even if you stumble once, it is possible to correct everything.

The main thing in this case is to make it clear to your boyfriend that next time, in addition to trust, he may also lose self-respect, which is much more difficult to regain.

In conclusion, we can draw a small conclusion that most often trust in a man depends on the woman herself. You just need to overcome the fear of being misunderstood and forget all the unpleasant moments of your previous relationship. Only in this way will a woman have the opportunity to become happy.

Trust is the basis of a successful relationship between lovers. It helps you become closer and move in the same direction in life. But, unfortunately, it is not always present initially or was lost due to certain situations. It is important for you to understand the causes of the problem in order to improve your relationship with your loved one as soon as possible.

Why is there no trust?

The reasons may vary. Some girls are taught from childhood that “all men are assholes”: that everyone cheats and even leaves their wives and children. It's sad when a mother doesn't instill the right concepts in her daughter. Therefore, a mature girl has to cope with such a burden on her own.

A more common reason for mistrust is that the girl was initially very open, trusted men, but one or even several of them betrayed her. And now she sees everyone as unreliable companions.

The sad consequences of a lack of trust

Dear girls, understand: if you do not trust your new lover, who has not yet had time to show himself negatively, this too may end badly. Although men seem callous and unemotional, this does not prevent them from understanding the girl’s attitude. And if he doesn’t feel positive about himself, he will lose interest in you. He will think: “Why try if they don’t believe me?”

All this will lead to the fact that the young man will gradually move away from you. In addition to this, it may begin to change. After all, you are sure that all men are “like this,” and he will confirm this to you. Women are designed in such a way that they make their lover with their own thoughts.

How to learn to trust your man

• If you've just started dating, then it's absolutely normal that you don't trust your date completely. It is unlikely that there was time for situations to occur when he showed himself heroically. But he didn’t have time to do anything wrong, so why are you so negative? Be lighter, more positive. You don't have to let me in young man close enough that he could seriously hurt you. Take care of your personal space and do not give in to persuasion to have sex too early. If a man is not ready to wait, then he is not your man.
• Is your husband at fault? Understand that we are all sinful people who can stumble. If he realized his mistake and promised to improve, believe it. Your thoughts will give him strength to take the right path.

Always be honest with your man. Show him good example your behavior and attitude. It’s not for nothing that there are wise sayings: “Start with yourself,” “Have you seen someone else’s sin? Fix yours."

If you approach the problem philosophically, you can understand that you yourself are far from ideal, therefore you attract a certain type of man or force even the “correct” young people to act ugly.

Remember that you can find a way out of any situation if both need it. Breaking up is easier, but not always true. Those unions are much stronger that have survived enormous difficulties and did not give up. Be happy and trust your loved one!

Is distrust of a man a wake-up call or a wasted worry? Let's figure it out.

He gives flowers, takes him to the cinema, and became friends with his mother. A dream, not a boyfriend. It’s just that an incomprehensible worm is gnawing at you. There seems to be no reason. But I don’t trust it.

How to understand whether you are fantasizing or should you listen to your intuition?

Honesty brings people closer together

I will say a simple, but not always obvious thing. Trust is strengthened by honesty and openness. Mistrust – hushing up rough edges and discontent. And this is the contribution of both partners.

Katya asks Seryozha: “What is your relationship with Yulia?” Seryozha is frightened by Katya’s possible anger and, looking down, answers: “We have been friends for many years.” Katya's downcast gaze and uncertain tone make her distrustful. She decides not to continue the uncomfortable conversation, and the worm we already know settles inside.

Who is to blame for this situation? Both. Seryozha did not tell the truth that Katya’s question took him by surprise and he was afraid of Katya’s jealousy. But Katya did not share her fears with Seryozha.

If Katya and Seryozha were honest with each other, they would find a lot in common: that they are afraid of pain, have experience of jealousy and betrayal, and are angry with previous partners. This would become the basis for rapprochement, not conflict.

When to sound the alarm

It's okay to not trust your partner. If you've known each other for a couple of months, it's natural. He did not cover your back during reconnaissance and did not call an ambulance for you during an attack of appendicitis. And if you’ve known each other for a year or ten years, you still don’t know each other like crazy – this is an illusion. People change all the time – you can’t keep track of them.

When there is no trust in a couple, it is difficult to build a stable relationship

What should you be wary of? Inability to talk frankly. Any honest conversation looks like this: 1) what I see, 2) what I feel and 3) what I want.

“I see that you communicate a lot with Yulia. I feel restless. I want you to explain to me why you are such close friends.”

“I see that you are worried about my communication with Yulia. I am also concerned about this - once a girl left me due to suspicions of infidelity, although there was no infidelity. And I don't want to lose you. I want you not to rush to judge me and to understand that Yulia and I have been friends for many years, but there has never been anything other than friendship between us.”

It’s difficult and painful to talk like that. You have to open up and sometimes tell the ugly truth. Show your partner vulnerable spots. Fear that they will be hit.

But let's be honest: you probably want a strong and stable relationship. Do you need a relationship in which there is a lot of subterfuge, lies, embellishment, and falsehood? If not, then you will have to try.

When you play with your child and throw him in the air, he laughs joyfully because he knows that you will catch him. This is Trust. And trusting a man is no different...

The question “” arises among women for various reasons. Some do not trust a man, suspecting him of treason, of betrayal. Others do not trust a man, controlling his every move. Still others do not trust a man with even the simplest task, being in the firm belief that they can do everything better, they can do everything perfectly, but he – a man – cannot.

Each of these women has no personal happiness. The first one eats itself from the inside with jealousy and fear of loneliness. The second eats both herself and her beloved man. The third is most often like a squirrel in a wheel all on its own, and the man is on the sofa with a beer or even worse...

And the reason for all these women’s misfortunes is the same, for the first, and for the second, and for the third. None of them knows how, cannot or does not want to trust their man.

What you will learn from the article:

How to learn to trust a man

Method 1. Trust in a man - Treat your head

It certainly sounds rude. But the whole problem is still only in your head - and this is happiness. Rebuild your brain in such a way that once and for all, even the possibility of betrayal leaves you. Necessarily

The problem always first appears in our head. Most often, as long as we don’t even allow the thought of something, it doesn’t happen in our lives. But as soon as some thought settles in our head, and even for a while - wait, the mirror of reality will definitely show you your thoughts in reality - and good ones, too, mind you. So it's better to think positive. About how faithful your man is, how caring he is and only you. And let this not fully correspond to reality YET. Just for now. Soon the mirror will show you a different man, with different qualities.

In any case - regardless of whether your husband is cheating on you or not - positive thoughts will change your life in such a way that a faithful and devoted man will be next to you, as soon as you completely and completely set your head with the attitude: “I trust my man one hundred percent.” percent. He is faithful and devoted to me body and soul.”

Disclaimer: if your man is still not clean in his hand, or in other parts of the body, it is likely that another man will be next to you, namely, faithful and devoted. But that's another question.

Method 2: Loosen your grip

A person gains control over a situation only when he ceases to control, gives up control - completely and completely.

Learn to trust life. By controlling every step of your beloved man, you not only lose your personal life - you simply don’t have time for it. This time.

Secondly, you are simply suffocating the man by constantly checking him. This will lead to feelings of guilt, often out of the blue. Coming home and seeing the dissatisfied face of his woman, a man will cultivate this feeling of guilt in himself even subconsciously. And at first there will be only one reason for this - his woman is unhappy, he failed. Further - along the slope. And as a result, sooner or later there will be a woman without complaints, satisfied and happy from his mere arrival (and this happens at the beginning of any relationship!). Let's not be our own with my own hands give a man into the hands of another woman!

Every time you feel the urge to control, get to the truth, interrogate, or just think about it, do something for yourself. For example, .

From Vedic wisdom: a woman should always meet her man with a joyful face. Then he will rush home. Do you have any complaints against your husband? We smiled, fed them, and then talked about painful things. No hysterics, of course.

Method 3. Ask him for help

Just start small - with anything. At least buy some water. Just be sure to appreciate his actions. And not just within yourself. Show him how glad, satisfied, happy you are that he helped you. Of course, maybe now you think that you will be like a fool enjoying a bottle of water while you yourself are worried about filling an entire refrigerator... Just do it. And tomorrow ask for twice as much. And so on.

You will see how great it is to trust your man to help you. We're not talking about washing dishes, of course. He has his own - male tasks in life. But for him to start performing them to the fullest, you must be sure that he can do it. Your faith or lack thereof “makes” your man.
And only you influence whether he lies on the couch with beer or gets a mammoth to provide for his princess.

How to learn to trust a man? Just do it. Men know how to be faithful, devoted and reliable. Let's let them be like that. Let's restore trust in a man.